September 29, 2010

Boy! This weekend was rough! It started with Danny being off Friday AND Monday and possibly Thursday and Friday of this week, too, because of no work.  Then the utility company took $208 out of my account two weeks early.  I couldn't see my grandbabies because I had the sniffles (they were premature and their immune systems are compromised).  Yesterday we were supposed to go out with my oldest brother and sister-in-law that I haven't seen in years and they got stuck in some terrible traffic.  She had the wrong number  and was never able to get up with us.

But, I heard this song by the Crabb Family called, "Through the Fire".  It reminded me of Isaiah 43:1-3 HCS...

 ¹ Now this is what the LORD says—
    the One who created you, Jacob,
    and the One who formed you, Israel ^(A) —
    "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; ^(B)
    I have called you by your name; you are Mine. ^{(C)
    2} I will be with you ^(D)
    when you pass through the waters, ^(E)
    and [when you pass] through the rivers,
    they will not overwhelm you.
    You will not be scorched
    when you walk through the fire, ^(F)
    and the flame will not burn you.
    ³ For I the LORD your God, ^(G)
    the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior, ^(H)
    give Egypt as a ransom for you,
    Cush and Seba in your place.

The song says it's THROUGH the fire my weakness is made strong.  God may not decide to deliver us FROM the fire - or the flooding waters, but PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME, He'll hold our hands and walk with us all the way to the other side!

I also love the verse in the song that says, "When the adversary says give in, just hold on MY GOD WILL SHOW UP, and He will take you through the fire again! (makes me wanna shout!!)

Before I go today I also wanna share the verse that was in our church newsletter this week.  I had to cut it out and put it on my computer as a constant reminder that God will not let me fall without an outstretched hand to help me up...2 Corinthians 4:8-9a KJV...

 ⁸We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
 ⁹Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Reach Out and Just Hold On

When you get depressed and down and out

And wish someone would care,

Just reach out and hold on tight

'Cause Jesus is always there.

You feel  like you've lost your very best friend

Wish someone would just take your hand

Just reach out and hold on now

'Cause Jesus will understand.

If you have a problem that's too much to handle

The Lord's right by your side

If you'll just reach out and take His hand

Jesus will be your guide.

So, the next time you have a problem

Wish God would just take you home

Remember He's standing at your left and your right

If you'll reach out and just hold on.

He has our back ALWAYS!!

I love You, Jesus!!

September 28, 2010

Good morning!

Today, my oldest brother, that I haven’t seen in years, is coming to visit!! It makes me think of the verse that says, “There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” I’m thanking the Lord SO much for my brothers and my sisters…and FRIENDS - because if I ever find one that sticks closer to me than my siblings, I’m gonna hold on for dear life!

Brothers in Colorado, South Carolina, and Florida and a sister in Florida…all more than 400 miles away. I have no doubt that any of my brothers or my sister would give me the shirt off their back if they thought I needed it. I also have no doubt that they’d move hell and high water to get to my bedside if I called them. I can call them at two o’clock in the morning - and have - to ask them to pray…and they DO!! The same goes for me…Any time of day or night, any where on this earth…If I can make it happen, I WILL be there for them!!

When my sister was killed in a car accident, I had a brother in Tennessee, one in Montana, and one in South Africa and we ALL moved mountains and air (my brother in South Africa had to ride home in a cargo plane) to be there for each other.

When my husband was hit by a car while doing a land survey away from home, my sister closed down her business to take care of my children and my brother’s were on the phone with the doctors (they’re pastors and can “move mountains) and on their knees to the Father before I even made it to the hospital. I received calls in the emergency room from each one of them - just to let me know they were praying!

God is SO good to give me such wonderful siblings! PRAISE THE LORD every day for your family, because God has put each one of them in our lives to lift us up and be there when NO ONE else will! And, for those friends who “stick closer than a brother” PRAISE HIM, too! He sends us exactly what and who we need when we need them!!

THANK YOU LORD!!

I love you, Jesus!!

September, 27, 2010

I was just listening to a song called, "My Name Is Lazarus".  If you haven't heard it, it's about the four men bringing the crippled man to Jesus to be healed, and what they just might've said that day.

The blind man - "He healed my eyes so that I could see, but I DON'T BELIEVE"

The man with the withered hand - "He healed my hand, but I DON'T BELIEVE"

The leper - "He cleansed me, but I DON'T BELIEVE"

But then, PRAISE THE LORD, Lazarus steps forth and says, "MY NAME IS LAZARUS, could I testify?"  Every one turns because he says that HE was bound by the chains of death and JESUS CALLED HIM OUT! 

Isn't that the way we can sometimes be, though?

Well Lord, I know You healed my baby when the doctors said he had a brain infection, but I DON'T BELIEVE You can give my husband a new job... or maybe...

I know Lord, You sent us $8,000 in the nick of time when we needed to stay home and homeschool our boys, but I DON'T BELIEVE You can really come through with my $200 utility payment this month...one more...

Lord, I know You gave me overwhelming peace unexplained when the doctor said I may have the worst kind of cancer, but I DON'T BELIEVE you'll keep my sons safe in their jobs.

Isn't that how it works, though? God brings us to the other side of  the worst things and the hardest trials - even the threshhold of death and we forget about it...or at least act like we did.  Because, when a teeny tiny rainshower hits our life, we doubt if He can really get us to the other side of it...Does He REALLY have control?

So, remember Lazarus the next time You doubt God can come through for you...or, better yet, remember what he's ALREADY done!! He's all knowing, all powerful, and all loving and ALWAYS has our best interest at heart...LOVE HIM AND TRUST HIM!!

I love You, Jesus!!

September 26, 2010

I felt really strongly that, today, I should repost a blog that I wrote on My Space months ago...ENJOY and BELIEVE GOD!!

I have recently begun a Beth Moore study called "Believing God".  It centers around Hebrews 11.  I have learned SO much about faith already.  God is SO good!!

How many of us say we believe God, but only if He does what we want.  When things begin to turn the other way, SO DO WE!!  So many times I have told God that I love Him NO MATTER WHAT! Then, something comes into my life and turns it upside down. . .Instead of believing God and allowing Him to bring me comfort and peace, I'm crying out, "WHY GOD!?!"  and blaming Him!

Recently, I had a major scare in my life that taught me, "Yes! My God CAN be trusted with my fears and heartache!!" . . . My doctor did a routine test and found that my liver enzymes were quadruple what they should be.  He came back to me and told me the news that I may have Hepatitus or Liver Cancer and I broke down.  I cried until I could cry no more.  When the tests that they were doing monthly finally got me so sick I couldn't hold my head up, I cried out, "Jesus, I need You!!"  I just can't do this on my own!  You have done so many miracles for me.  Now, I am asking only for PEACE!! No matter what the outcome I will praise You, but PLEASE just give me PEACE!" Well, immediatley I felt a warm feeling all over my body and my tense muscles just released.  I felt PEACE!

I tell you this story because, only a month ago,  I faced another scary moment . . . I began to have a searing pain in my breast that wouldn't go away.  I knew something wasn't right and called my doctor.  That Sunday as I sang, I felt the Lord's hand on my shoulder saying, "Daughter, I have You in my arms! Here is Your PEACE!" After a thorough examination, I was told that she did find a lump in my breast.  Immediately, a strong peace came over me. . . no tears and no fear.  I knew God had me in His arms and I'd be okay NO MATTER what!  I was even able to voice that to Him - and mean it in my heart,  "God, no matter, what I know You are in control! Thank You for Your sweet PEACE!"

I am happy to say that I have neither liver nor breast cancer!  But even more so, I am ecstatic to say that I do have PEACE!!  I truly believe that God is teaching me through all of this that His PEACE will ALWAYS be enough!

Dear friend,  if things seem impossible and you just don't know what to do or where to turn the answer is to my loving God!!  He WILL give You PEACE!!  All you have to do is ask!

I love You, Jesus!!

September 25, 2010

The one and only reason is God!! No pills, no doctor, no surgery!!

For almost five months now I've been in severe pain...way worse than even my back!

I just stood up one day and ZAP! The worst pain I've ever felt in my life...including natural childbirth with NO drugs TWICE...shot down my arm! I sat back down and tried the heating pad.  It actually seemed to work along with Advil PM - for about a week. It got worse and worse as the days passed! I even tried TWO Advil PM - and slept with a heating pad wrapped around my arm.  I tried every rub on analgesic I could find, hot baths, heat and cold packs, and all the different pills they gave me.  I'd awaken every hour - or at most - a few hours, crying because the pain was SO bad.  I researched everything I could find online and was scared to death with all sorts of awful diseases...NOT GONNA DO THAT AGAIN!!

Not really thinking it was, I went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't my heart.  After confirming that it wasn't, he gave me some pain meds, some muscle relaxers, and some meds for nerve damage.  He assumed it was the nerve damage in my back acting up.

That was Monday.  By Saturday, I could stand it no more - I headed for the emergency room! Pretty sure it was a pinched nerve and unable to do an MRI because of all the hardware, he decided he would at least get me out of pain (My blood pressure had risen to 170/99 - not good)  He gave me a shot of Dauladid, Valium, and something for nausea and sent me home to sleep...NOT!! That didn't even phase the pain!

I took the meds my doctor gave me and TWO Advil PM and suffered for three more months, until I had another scheduled appointment.  When my doctor asked for a number from one to ten to describe my pain.  I squeezed my arm and said, "worse than ten".  He gave me a BIG bottle of pain pills and said it was time to see my orthopaedic surgeon.  I balked because I've already had four MAJOR back surgeries - UNTIL he said I could lose the use of my RIGHT hand and arm.  Then, I gave in and let him make the call.

After another week of sleeping all the time and still being in pain, problems with the doctor and hospital over payment (didn't take my insurance because it's a different state), and having an allergy to the pain meds, I got extremely frustrated and depressed.  I did what I should've done on day one...Though BELIEVE ME I'd prayed constantly, I let go and layed it at Jesus' feet! 

"God, I can't deal with this pain anymore! I can't take the pain meds and they don't work anyway! The doctors, hospital, and even the pharmacy, is giving me the run around.  And, I can't afford to do anything else - like chiropractor or physical therapy.  I NEED for You to reach Your hand from Heaven and unkink the nerve that is being crushed."

I lie to you not! Almost immediately the pain was gone!! It has now been two days and NO PAIN!! 

God is SO good!!

PRAISE THE NAME OF JEHOVAH RAPHA - GOD MY HEALER!!

I love You, Jesus!!

September 24, 2010

Today, I think I'll tell you about my back...

Twenty-three years ago, while bustling about trying to get my toddler boys ready for the baby sitter, get myself ready for work, feed the family - You know the drill! - I began to have severe pains in my chest.  I hated to worry my husband and get him upset for no reason, so I decided to see if it went away by the time we dropped the boys off.

It didn't. It got worse, and I was convinced that I was having a massive heart attack! I even debated holding my sons a few extra minutes in case I didn't get to see them again.  When we got in the car (I didn't want to scare the boys by saying something in front of them) I started sobbing uncontrollably and told my husband we needed to go to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack.  We did and, after they triaged me, they decided I was indeed showing the classic symptoms of major cardiac trouble...extremely high blood pressure, severe chest pain, shortness of breath.  They did several tests, including a chest x-ray.

Long story short, I wasn't having a heart attack...my spine was poking into my heart muscle!! I had severe scoliosis! My curves were 78 degrees and 84 degrees  - almost an "S".  Changes in the curves were progressing way too fast, so after six weeks to store up enough of my own blood for a transfusion, I was scheduled for extensive surgery.  I had to get a second opinion first though, to satisfy my insurance.  By the time of the appointment - a week before the surgery - we had gone from needing seven inches of rod to needing seventeen inches!

The word was I would have a seventeen inch Herrington rod placed in my spine and bone bored from my hip to use for the fusion.  I would be in an upper body cast for up to a year with NO flexibility.  I'd be in surgery for several hours, in intensive care for at least a week.  I would be in the hospital for up to a month, and unable to return to work for several months thereafter.

But, you know what? My God knew a better way! Not two days before my surgery the FDA approved the use of the CD Rods.  I was called into the office for an emergency appointment to discuss the changes.  Instead of one long bar, I would have eight shorter ones (four on each side) with screws and hinges...I'd have a little flexibility bending forward, after all, and NO body cast! The rest of their prognosis would remain the same.

Again, my God had different plans!! I wasn't in Intensive Care for a week. - I was in a regular room in less than twenty-four hours! Was I in the hospital for a month? NOPE!! I was released in a week! I returned to work in only three months - and that was only because it takes twelve weeks for the fusion to set!

God didn't stop doing miracles at Pentecost...I'm a walking miracle!!  Every change and every turn of events, He made happen in HIS perfect time - so He could show His greatness!!

I love You, Jesus!!

September 23, 2010

I was given a writing assignment to start my own blog and I’ve been trying to think of one that will glorify God at the same time as giving me practice in writing. I also want to help others that are going through some of the same things I’ve been through and made it to the other side.

So here it is…

Counting My Many Blessings

You see, I’ve been through quite a lot in my forty-six years and there’s a tendency not to see the bright side … all the things that God has brought through the pain.

Today, for instance, started out a pure pity party and ended up PRAISE THE LORD!!

I started out writing the Lord a six page letter reminding Him of all the wrong and bad things in my life - as if He didn’t already know. Then, I started quoting verses and promises to Him (He actually likes that.) in order to ask Him WHEN? (probably not so much) My favorite one was, “I’LL OPEN UP THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN AND POUR YOU OUT A BLESSING” (my paraphrase) - and then “WHEN LORD? When do I get to be blessed!?!”

I have to laugh because, patient Daddy that he is, He showed me!!

I didn’t even realize it until I went back to proofread it (Yes! I proofread my prayer letters…lol!!)
All of a sudden, after I wrote WHEN? And told Him about something horrible that happened, I began to notice that I’d written this…

Lord, my grandbabies were born too early and had to be placed on life support…They could’ve died…but YOU KEPT THEM SAFE!!

Steven was carjacked, mugged and beaten…He could’ve died…but YOU KEPT HIM SAFE!!

Clayton was in Afghanistan and was hit by an RPG. He lost 25% of his hearing and hurt his arm and face…suffered PTSD and TBI. Now, he’s back over there again…He could’ve died…but YOU KEPT HIM SAFE!!

Danny was hit by a car while doing a land survey. He had to have surgery on both legs and has arthritis in them now…He could’ve died…but, YOU KEPT HIM SAFE!!

My liver almost shut down. I’ve had four major back surgeries…I could’ve died…but, YOU KEPT ME SAFE!!

WOW!! If that’s not a cup running over with blessings, I don’t know what is!! I was pointing out the bad and He was turning right around and showing me His good!

Open my eyes Lord, and help me to see
Your blessings so richly bestowed upon me

I love You, Jesus!!